Claiming the Ring: Break Up Etiquette

A break up is a horrible experience for all parties. The person who has been broken up with is heart broken, and left wondering if they should have seen it coming or what they could have done to fix things. The person who did the breaking up is left wondering if they made the right decision, if they will regret it and feeling guilty and sad for hurting someone that on some level they really do care for.

What makes a break up even harder is if you have made a commitment or taken the next step in your relationship and become engaged. Not only does it increase the guilt, sadness, heart break and leave you with a diamond ring momento, it also adds a whole list of unwritten rules and etiquette to the situation that draw it out and make it harder. So what are the rules?

The rules will differ depending on the two people in the relationship and how they broke up. If it was amicable and both parties are sad but know it’s the right decision, most things will be easy to work out and decisions and action can be undertaken together. If one party is in the wrong, or has been left very heart broken, having planned their life, thought about kids, maternity wear, buying a home, the finalisation of the relationship will generally be undertaken by the offending party. Here’s a few insights to help you out:

1.Your family
You have to tell them – whether you’re the broken up with, or the heart breaker, you need to let the people closest to you know that the wedding is off. In terms of permitting your ex to contact your family or vice versa, that is up to you. If your family were close with him or her, they can send some condolences, but they also need to be aware they should be supporting their own also, and presenting a united front behind you.
2.Her family
As your ex and not his or her fiancé, you have no rights to his or her family. You should not contact anyone in the family for any trivial matter. You should contact them only to amicably determine how to unravel the wedding and also possibly to politely and briefly check in on your ex to see how he or she is doing.
3.The ring… and other things
The ring is a tough one, and many people have different opinions. Consensus generally is that she should give it back once the engagement is over, however some men feel it was a gift, given in good faith at the time and gifts should not be returned regardless of circumstance. On the other hand, if she was cheated on, many women will tell her not to give it back because he doesn’t deserve it!
4.The apologies
Letting potential guests of the impending wedding know that it is no longer happening is also important. This can be a job undertaken by both parties – each contacting their own sides subtly. Or if one party is heart broken, the other party may take over this role to save further heart break and embarrassment.
5.Cost
Unless you have great and generous in laws, the cost of the cancelled wedding should be shared by both sides – or whoever was in the wrong!
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About Engagement Ring Etiquette (2)

Can a Family Heirloom become an Engagement Ring?
A family heirloom can become your engagement ring, but since the ring is full of tradition and family memories, make sure that other family members have agreed with the decision. Also be sure to make terms for the ring to be returned to the family in the event the relationship does not survive.

On Which Hand the Engagement Ring Should Be Used?
Modern tradition states the engagement ring be worn on the ring finger of the left hand. With jewelers advocating right hand rings without relationship associations, this is the great way to show your engagement as well as follow correct etiquette.

Does the Engagement Ring Should Have a Diamond?
Conventional engagement rings are diamonds, but recent rings can be any gemstone. For a more traditional appear while still applying other stones, consider a central diamond framed with diverse accent gems or vice versa. The most significant thing is to feel comfy with a ring that suits you.

Can You Split the Cost of a Ring?
Tradition states that the man buys the ring. But in recent weddings, however, many couples are already sharing a home and expenses. Some couples also split the cost of the engagement ring. However, men want to consider their fiancée's character before suggesting she donates the ring payment. Some women who think themselves very modern still expect the man to buy the ring. If the woman is a romantic person, it is probable she hopes her fiancé to perform this tradition.

When you choose to divide the ring cost, it can be a good prospect to get near into one another's economic viewpoints. Budgeting and sharing the ring cost gives you the chance to talk about financial preparation long before the marriage.
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About Engagement Ring Etiquette (1)

There are lots of questions around engagement ring etiquette. Here are some:

Do I Require a Ring To Propose?
An engagement ring isn’t the main part in an engagement. Some couples get engaged first and later purchase the ring together so that the girlfriend can choose her own ring.

Other couples get swept away with an unplanned marriage proposal long before a ring is bought. Waiting on a ring is also a fine idea, if a couple wants to save money for an exceptional ring but doesn't want to wait to get engaged.

Should the Man Use an Engagement Ring?
While most men wear only a wedding band, some men also want to use an engagement ring as a symbol of their approaching marriages. Engagement rings for men are vary significantly from women's, but there are many alternatives for style preferences. If the man has decided to wear an engagement ring, be prepare that conservative family members may guess it as the wedding has already happened, and the couple should be ready to clarify their preferences.

Can You Use Again a Ring?
While perfectly each engagement ring would last till death do us part, increasing divorce rates lead this issue into keen spotlight. The choice to reuse a ring is a really individual decision: she may just like the style of ring and see no need for finding another. Alternatively, one or both partners may hope to have a brand new beginning with a new ring unrelated with past relationships. This decision should be a mutual decision, and old rings can always be redesigned or somewhat retune to be renewed with no wide reformations.

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